Misadventures Of A Mary Sue
by Truthful Blasphemy
Summary: The stereotypes we authors have become so used to are finally parodied. Tokio Hotel, MCR, Newsies and several other all-too-obvious screw-ups we've chosen to ignore. It's pretty funny, so please review!
1. Tokio Hotel

**I've had this idea for awhile, and just decided to expand on it. There will be multiple chapters for MCR, Newsies and several other stereotypes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokio Hotel.**

**Please Review!**

**For: Laughing Matter.  
**

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MISADVENTURES OF A MARY SUE

WITH TOKIO HOTEL

CHAPTER 1

Mother: We're moving to Germany!

Mary Sue (Mary for short): WHY?

Mother: The authoress has serious problems and no idea how to work a plotline. Also, she's an obsessive fangirl who doesn't pay any attention to details. She just wants to get you over there already.

Mary: I wonder why. **Cheery, creepy, oblivious smile**

Mother: No one knows. Pack up, our flight is leaving towards the end of this chapter!

(_Mary Sue rushes to pack everything she'll need to go to Germany. Of course, everything she wears is emo/punk and has rips and tears. It's all neon or black and she bought it at Hot Topic.) _

Upset Best Friend: I'm so sorry you'll be leaving and going to very far away! I'm a really important and emotional part of the plotline right now, but in two chapters, everyone will have forgotten I even existed.

Mary: I'll never forget you!

UBF: Tell me that after you meet Bill.

Mary: Who?

UBF: Nevermind! Just go catch your flight! I'll miss you Mary Sue!

Mary: I'll miss you too Upset Best Friend! **runs away to catch plane**

UBF: THANK GOD SHE'S GONE! LET'S PARTY! **other characters who knew Mary come and party**

ANOTHER BAD CHAPTER LATER

Mary: Finally! I'm in Germany! I have a huge new house that perfectly fits my personality! I live in a pretty little neighborhood with lots of old people. There is a family next door with twin boys. One is an emo, his name is Bill. The other one is a gangsta with dreads and his name is Tom. They have two friends, Georg and Gustav, who will spend the rest of this story in the background being ignored!

Bill: Oh Mary, you're so beautiful and emo/punk! Your style is just like mine! We were obviously made for each other! We've only been talking for about fifteen minutes...but I love you!

Mary: Oh Bill! I know! I love you too!

Tom: I'm so glad my baby brother is dating someone nice!

Bill: I'm so glad you're not using me like all the other girls! Even though I'm hot, famous, and rich!

Mary: Oh I know! **they kiss romantically for about three paragraphs **

Tom: Omg, who is THAT?

UBF: I moved here too cause the author's friend is mad she wasn't included in the plot and I was the only available character for the job. So...yup.

Tom: You're sexy!

UBF: You're obviously a player. Stay away from me.

Georg: I'm being igored.

UBF: Let's date!

Georg: Okay!

Mary: **is still kissing Bill**

Bill: **is kinda annoyed, but enjoys being kissed**

Tom: Alright then, my chick just got stolen!

THREE POORLY WRITTEN CHAPTERS LATER

Mary: Darn. Now that I've gotten to know them so well, I'm having conflicting emotions about the boys!

Mother: **heartfelt speech that is just the author ranting about not having a boyfriend, and how she wants to be treated if she could **_**get **_**one.**

Mary: Thanks mom!

Mother: No problem!

Mary: I'm going to talk to Tom and Bill about my dilemma

SOMETHING TRAGIC HAPPENS

Bill: Oh no!  
Tom: Oh no!

Gustav: **snore**

Georg: **is making out with UBF**

ROUGHLY THE END OF THE STORY

Mary: I'M PREGNANT WITH SOMEONE'S BABY!

Bill/Tom: Whose?

Mary: I don't know!

Bill: It must be Tom's!

Mary: You can't be sure!

END OF STORY

Mary: It was Bill's baby!

Tom: Nice job little bro

Bill **passes out**

Mary: **contented sigh**

AND, SOMEHOW, THEY MAKE IT OUT 'HAPPILY EVERY AFTER'


	2. MCR 5

**I wrote this kinda as a half-chapter because most of the recent MCR fics are Fab Killjoy ones. I'm writing that one next, which is really easy cause they all have a generalized plot if you dig deep enough. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own MCR. **

**Thanks to: Storm Blackheart and XxWickedWench. This is for you two lovely people! :)  
**

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MISADVENTURES OF A MARY-SUE: CHAPTER 1.5

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

**Mary**: I'm a depressed girl who wears black clothes and cuts herself for no apparent reason. (_AN: Nothing against cutters! I have lovely cutter friends! This just seems to reoccur for no reason…why?) _I also love listening to dark music like Evanescence and Disturbed. Of course my favorite band of all time is My Chemical Romance, who am I going to see in concert in a few days.

**Abusive Father**: BRAT! Get your *insert several random swear words* down here and clean the kitchen! *more random swearing cause it makes the author feel edgy*

**Mary**: I don't know how I can afford tickets to that concert, but my abusive parents won't care since I'll probably sneak out to go with my goth friends anyway.

**Abusive Mother: **Weren't you listening to your *cuss* father? Get your *cussing some more* butt DOWN HERE!

**Mary's Best Friend: **_sneaks in the window and helps Mary outside^ _You have to come to the concert with us!

**Mary: **Okay! Lets go!

**MBF: ***Gets in car with **Mary*** This is the most amazing concert of the year! Of all time!

**Mary: **Lets cut and get drunk!**MBF: **Totally! *They cut and get randomly drunk* Let's also completely forget that Jamia Iero and LynZ Way exist! For the sake of the plot.

**Mary: **Totally! *Forgets* Who were we talking about?

**MBF: **No idea. TO THE CONCERT!

_ONE PLOTLESS CHAPTER SPENT EXPLAINING THEIR OUTFITS: LATER AT THE CONCERT_

**Gerard: **Thanks for coming to our concert! Tonight we'll have a fan come up and sing with us. You there, the drunk one.

**Mary: **Yay! *sings poorly with Gerard.*

**Gerard: **I've realized in this span of thirty seconds that I love you!

**Mary:** I love you too! Will you rescue me from my abusive family?

**Gerard: **Of course! *they run off together…taking what small amount of plotline there was with them*

**Frank: **Alright…story over.

**MBF:** You're kinda cute.

**Frank: **Stay away from me.


	3. Killjoy Issues

**Hello lovely world of fanfiction! Will someone go read "I Think I Love You"? I need some more reviews on that, and I think it's kinda cute. THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS! **

**This chapter is for N3ON Dynamite and Storm Blackheart! ICH LIEBE MIR FRUENDS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own MCR  
**

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MISADVENTURES OF A MARY SUE

CHAPTER 2

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

KILLJOY VERSION

*Party Poison and Fun Ghoul are riding down Route Guano (which is probably spelled "root gwano" cause we don't got no spell check or basic Spanish comprehension skills on Fanfiction) in the lovely MCRified Trans Am*

Fun: Life could not get better for us Killjoys! We're being hunted and killed like animals, we barely have enough to eat, people can't write proper stories about us…life is good!

Party: Now if only I could find someone beautiful, smart, danger-loving, and good with a gun to share it with!

Fun: Who cares about girls? You have me and the other two! Plus Show Pony and Dr. Death Defying! You're gonna have to suck it up!

Party: *offended* Me! I'm so OOC throughout this entire thing, it's not even funny how much of a stuck up prick or fluffy mushball I'm gonna be. You can never really tell, because the authoress is probably going through a break-up or PMSing! This story is just a way for her to vent angst through the web.

Fun: Good point! Hey look! A random body on the side of the road wearing colorful clothing! It's probably a Killjoy! Let's see!

*They pull over and walk up to the body. It's a half-alive girl. She's stunningly beautiful despite her wounds, dust, and sweat covered body. Party Poison instantly falls in love and carries her to the car*

Mary: *Wakes up* Where am I?

Party: You're in safe hands! What's your name?

Mary: Mary Sue! But most people call me Useless Idiot! That's my Killjoy name.

Party: I'm Party Poison! I love you already, even though we've just met!

Useless: Sweet! Wanna hear about my tragic past?

Party: Not yet, we should wait until we're back at the diner and _everyone _can listen.

Fun: Ugh.

Party/Useless: Shut up! You're only here cause there'll prolly be some Frerard eventually!

Fun: Point taken, shutting up.

Party/Useless: Thank you.

*They arrive at the HQ and head inside. Everyone gathers around Useless Idiot to hear her tale of woe*

ONE FAR-FETCHED-TRAGIC-PAST-STORY LATER

*Useless Idiot is in tears while Party Poison tries to console her*

Fun: That was pretty pointless.

Fabulous Killjoys: Yeah…we're going to bed now.

Party: Goodnight guys. I love you Useless!

Useless: I love you too!

SEVERAL POORLY WRITTEN CHAPTERS WHERE "EMOTIONS" (SAD ATTEMPTS AT LEMON) ARE DEVELOPED LATER

FRERARD HAPPENS

NO ONE IS SURPRISED

Useless: I will never stop loving you! I promise!

Party: Me too!

Useless: *Dies*

Party: NOOOOOO!

Everyone Else: YAAAAY!

Fun: Let's go find another story with a plot to be in!

Party: *On his knees, whimpering over the loss of his love* I told you I'd be a total OOC fluffy mushball! Gahhhh!

Truthful Blasphemy: *Comes down from the sky with light shining all around her, like God but instead it's a girl with purple hair* Come Gerard, and I will show you what it's like to be in a _real _fan fiction!

Party: Really?

Truthful: Of course, come bring your friends!

Party: Thank you!

Truthful: It's okay. Come along MCR, we're going to re-manify you all and get those dumb Useless Idiot germs off!

Cast: HOORAH!

*Everyone leaves*

Useless: I'm back from the dead! See how silly my author is? She wants to write a sequel! Guys?

*Cries dejectedly*

*Backstreet Boys enter and console Useless*

Lead Singer: It's okay. No one _ever _writes fan fictions about us. You're a pretty popular character.

Useless: PEDOPHILE! *kicks him in "that region" and runs away screaming*

Truthful: God I love writing this.


	4. Petah Pan

**Here we go, the next Misadventure of a Mary Sue! Any Peter Pan fans that are reading: Seriously this is like 85% of the stories plotlines I've ever read on fanfiction.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Peter Pan. (They belong to the St. Ormond's St. Children's Hospital)  
**

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MISADVENTURES OF A MARY SUE

CHAPTER 3

PETER PAN

Mary: Hello. My name is Mary Sue! I'm Wendy Darling's granddaughter (even though the book specified that my name _should _be Margaret) I am terribly abused by my parents, (whose names are also specified but ignored). I dream of running away with Petah Pan (Because I have a terrible English accent)!

Hook: I am going to capture Wendy's granddaughter in hopes of bringing Pan to his knees! This may be my best plan yet! Although due to the fact that Mary Sue has amazing fighting powers, she will probably beat me in a duel and win her freedom.

Mary: Please don't kidnap me! I'm perfect, and therefore know how to tell stories, swordfight, fly, swim, cook, and sew! The Lost Boys need me, and Peter is bound to come looking for me soon!

Hook: You just whined about your abusive parents! Wouldn't you _want _me to take you to Neverland?

Mary: I have no sense of logic! I'm a freaking MARY SUE!

Hook: Ahhhhh. Good point. Alright, come here and let me tie you up.

Mary: Okay!

Hook: Bipolar much?

Mary: No, I'm just utilizing the Aura of Smooth. It's like my super power. Also notice that I'm plotting my escape already. Now if you'll excuse me, you're about to have your dignity handed to you by a fourteen year old wearing leaves and tights.

DANGEROUS FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN HOOK AND PETER

Peter: Return that beautiful young lady to me! I need her to tell stories and be part of some uninteresting romantic plot twist.

Hook: No! The authoress wants you to be captured so that she can use a pointless cliffhanger. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON THIS TRAINWRECK OF A STORY HAS ANY REVIEWERS!

Peter: OK! I'll fight you anyway! (screws up for no apparent reason, because both the movie and book make a good point to show that he's better than Hook)

Hook: (Laughs maniacally) I finally have Pan in my clutches! Now I will kill him!

Mary: Now I have to defend my future love interest! (Fights with Hook and wins. She frees Peter and they escape to the mainland where they meet up with the Lost Boys) I saved Petah's life!

Peter: She saved my life! And during the fight, I noticed that I had already fallen in love with her! We're going to get married and pretend to be you little brats' parents. Ok? Ok. Glad we got THAT little plot bunny all figured out.

Lost Boys: But Peter, you can't grow up! Eventually you'll tire of that game and push things. Then the authoress will get writer's block!

Peter: Remember Boys, this story is being written by an emotional teenage girl with an enormous crush on Jeremy Sumpter. No one reads the book anymore. Are you kidding?

Mary: You don't need to grow up, Petah! I'll stay here with you! Forever and ever!

Peter: (realizing the truth about Mary) No! You must go back and grow up! Far away!

Mary: But don't you love me Petah? You said you did! All of five lines ago! *cries*

Peter: I can't love. This is the part where the authoress finally realizes this! I cannot love, and you become a sobbing wreck and leave me, to go back to London and grow up!

Cast: THANK GOD!

Mary: Goodbye Petah! I'll always believe in you!

Peter: Tell me that in another genre, when you're "in love" with someone else!

Narrator: But on her way to London, Mary Sue was accidentally dropped in New York City! Where her next misadventure takes place…


	5. Newsies

MISADVENTURES OF A MARY SUE

THE SPOT CONLON EDITION

Mary: (_Throwing her hand dramatically against her sweaty forehead) _My name is Mary…Mary Sue! I'm just immigrated from Ireland, and I'm looking for my childhood sweetheart/playmate. His name is Sean. I'm working as a Manhattan newsie to earn my keep, but whenever I can; I sneak across the Brooklyn bridge to look for my dear friend and only love.

Race: Her name is Mary, but her newsie name is Pointless. She's a total nuisance…but also completely perfect. (_Is a love-struck puppy) _She's amazing, and sells papers like a natural. She can look curvy, even when wearing men's clothing. Her voice is beautiful and sweet; she can sing, dance, and often works with Medda. Her accent is flawless, no matter what dialect she chooses to take on. (_Faints from her pure awesomeness)_

IN BROOKLYN

Spot: I've been here in Brooklyn avoiding…I mean searching, for my long-lost-love, Mary Sue. I heard that Manhattan found an Irish broad and named her Pointless. Apparently, Racetrack Higgins is in love with her. I went over the bridge to see who it was and…

Mary/Pointless: SEAN!

Spot/Sean: MARY!

Mary/Pointless: I missed you so much! My mother and father died tragically on the crossing from Ireland to America. It's terrible. I'm living now with the Manhattan newsies and have taken no interest in any of them even though they're all head-over-heels for me!

Sean/Spot: Oh Mary! You can come live in Brooklyn with me!

Mary/Pointless: I'll be over in five!

SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK…

Newsie Leader of Queens: Apparently my borough has some strange fight to pick with Conlon and his new girlfriend will be the perfect bait! Yes, we'll kidnap the girlfriend and cause a huge city-wide newsie war!

Dumb sidekick: YEAH! Kidnap the girlfriend!

AFTER THEY'VE KIDNAPPED THE GIRLFRIEND

Spot: I suppose this means I have to go get her back…or…I could leave her for the next poor chapter of this story…


	6. Labyrinth

MISADVENTURES OF A MARY SUE

LABYRINTH

**Author's Note: **I believe, in this case, that Sarah is so much of a Mary Sue already…that we'll just stick with her…

Sarah: Somehow, the author of this story thinks that I'm in college. I have matured, grown, and still think Karen is a dominating b-word. Toby's a total tool and Jareth must have some creepy obsession with my well-being because I still have my powers.

Jareth: I'm so obsessed with Sarah!

Hoggle: Oh goodness…

Bog: (_Bubbles)_

Ludo: Sarah…grammar…no…need…

Sarah: Okay, so I'm sleeping and I have this weird dream…THEN I WAKE UP IN THE UNDERGROUND! Of course...IT'S ALL JARETH'S FAULT!

Jareth: But I'm so in love with you! Take me back! Wait…I mean… (_ahem) _I'm a cocky jerkface who hates humanity. You can sleep in the guest room because I had _nothing _to do with bringing you back. You'll never see your family again because the Labyrinth wanted it's Champion to return.

Sarah: But we are supposed to fight a lot and argue over why you're such a bastard. I love you too though…

MONTHS OF ARGUING BEFORE SARAH FINDS THE LIBRARY AND SHUTS UP

CHEESY ENDING


End file.
